Going through a divorce is one of the most challenging experiences a person can face. Emotions are high, the stakes are higher, and the decisions made now can affect the rest of your life. Unfortunately, many women make significant mistakes during this stressful time, but by understanding what they are, you can avoid them and set yourself up for a better future.
1. Being Afraid to Ask for What You Want
If you’ve always put your partner’s needs first, it might seem natural to do so during the divorce. However, now is the time to be strong and assertive. Settling for less than you deserve, especially in property and custody matters, can have lasting impacts. These decisions are hard to change later, so don’t hesitate to ask for what you want. This isn’t selfish; it’s about securing a stable future for you and your children.
2. Failing to Become Financially Literate
If your spouse managed the finances, now is the time to get up to speed. Financial literacy is crucial, as you’ll need to make budgeting decisions, manage investments, and plan for retirement on your own. Consulting a financial planner can be an invaluable step in this process. They can guide you in creating a monthly budget, planning for retirement, and determining whether keeping or selling the family home is financially wise. Gaining financial knowledge will empower you and better equip you for future decision-making.
3. Thinking that Courts Favor Mothers in Custody Cases
Many women believe that courts consistently favor mothers in custody disputes, but this view is outdated. Nowadays, most family courts are impartial and focus on the child’s best interests. Judges consider factors like each parent’s work schedule, involvement with their children, and ability to provide stability. Frequent work travel could affect custody. Show your active role in your child’s life instead of depending on gender biases.
4. Insisting on Keeping the Family Home
The family home can feel like the one anchor during a time of change. However, hanging onto a home that’s financially out of reach is a common, and potentially harmful, mistake. Before deciding to stay, consider whether you can cover not just the mortgage, but also taxes, insurance, and maintenance. Houses come with unexpected costs, from repairs to property upkeep. While it may feel painful to sell, starting fresh in a new place can be both financially and emotionally freeing, allowing you to truly move forward.
5. Holding Onto Your Previous Way of Life
Divorce frequently requires adapting to a simpler lifestyle, which can be challenging. You may need to consider downsizing, choosing public versus private schools for children, or cutting back on vacations and other expenses. Accepting this change is key. Holding onto a previous standard of living can create added stress, and it can prevent you from welcoming new opportunities. Embracing your new circumstances and concentrating on building a stable, fulfilling future will ultimately benefit you much more.
6. Lack of Quality Legal Counsel
It can be tempting to seek advice from friends or family who have experienced a divorce, but this can present risks. Each divorce case is unique, and only an experienced attorney can give you sound legal advice tailored to your circumstances. Divorce is a complex legal process involving your finances and future custody arrangements, so consulting a knowledgeable attorney is essential. Choose a lawyer who is dedicated to protecting your interests and can guide you through each step.
When to Meet with a Financial Planner
A financial planner can be an essential partner during and after your divorce. The right time to meet with one is as soon as you’re contemplating divorce or when the process begins. They can help you organize your finances, set up a budget, and plan for the division of assets. A planner can also assist with creating a financial strategy that aligns with your new goals and lifestyle. By understanding your financial picture from the start, you can make informed decisions and set yourself up for long-term security.
Final Thoughts
Divorce can be a period of immense personal growth, but it’s also easy to fall into common traps. By being assertive, financially prepared, and well-advised, you can emerge from the process with stability and confidence. Divorce closes one chapter, but with the right mindset and support, it can also open the door to a rewarding new phase of life.
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CERTIFIED DIVORCE FINANCIAL ANALYST® or CDFA® professionals must develop their theoretical and practical understanding and knowledge of the financial aspects of divorce by completing a comprehensive course of study approved by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts (IDFA). CDFA® professionals must have two years minimum experience in a financial or legal capacity prior to earning the right to use the CDFA® certification mark.
